Originally written by Mullapudi Venkata Ramana in Telugu
★
The patient got irritated. “Doctor, these pills aren’t doing anything. My fever is not budging. Someone told me sweating helps; can’t you just give me something to make me sweat?”
“Hmmm! That’s easy. Come sit here. I will make the bill and give you”, said the Doctor
★
While climbing onto the operating table-
“Doctor, I hope this isn’t serious”
“Serious? Are you kidding me? For the money you’re paying, nobody would do a serious operation”
★
“Doctor, is there a right time to eat?”
“For those who don’t have, it’s when they find it; for those who have, it’s when they digest it”
★
“Sharma, your cheque just bounced and came back from the bank”
“I know the feeling, Doctor. My callus you removed came back too”
★
A doctor’s son, fresh out of medical school, excitedly told his father, who had just returned from a trip: “Dad, remember Shastri, the one you’ve been treating for that stomach ache for seven years? I operated on him two days ago, and he’s completely cured!”
The father, with a horrified look, “What the hell did you do? That case was paying for your entire tuition fee! I was counting on that case to fund my new dispensary!”
★
“Doctor, my left leg hurts terribly”, an old man said
“That comes with age; these pains are common”
“If that’s true, my right leg is the same age! Why doesn’t it hurt?” the old man laughed
“Easy, take the medicine I prescribe. Your other leg will start hurting too”
★
After examining a patient, the doctor prescribed medication and advised him to quit smoking. The doctor added that if he couldn’t quit completely, he could at least limit to one cigarette after each meal.
Six months later, the patient returned for a check-up, looking noticeably heavier.
“Look at you!” the doctor exclaimed. “You’ve put on weight. So, you’re following my advice?”
“Well, Doctor, I’m having trouble eating fifteen meals a day!”
★
Doctor: “Well, it looks like the medicine is working. You’re coughing with less trouble this morning than yesterday”
Patient: “Less trouble? Doctor, I practised all day and all night! At this point, it should be easy!”
[Selected and translated from ‘Mullapudi Venkata Ramana Saahithee Sarvaswam-4: Kadamba Ramaneeyam-1, edited by M.B.S. Prasad, 2011]
rishvanth.com 
Leave a comment